Respect by Ziggyme
Roight! I would draw thumbs, but the last post sorta blinded several people, and some beefy guy threatened to kill me, so... Yup, I'll discontinue the Soap Opera thing, let it stand by itself for a while, whilst I set upon a greater project.
---
Respect
A FOMT Fanfic, by yours truly
---
Rick slowly stumbled through thr door to his chicken pen. He had been stomped on, he had been called a nerd, he had broken another pair of glasses. Well, he had only one thing to tell those people. He had been pushed over that intangible line. There would be no more namecalling, there would be no more black eyes. He would take respect from everyone in town. He had the means to reshape his life. He took the one item that would fix his life right up. He grasped the telephone handle firmly and dialed.
"Hello, this is Andolini's pizza, may I take your order?"
"Uh, yeah, I'll have three large pizzas, extra cheese-, er, hold on." Rick covered the telephone reciever, as Gourmet walked into the room.
"Hey! Are you ordering pizza!"
"Er..."
Gourmet Guy just sat down on the nearest sofa. IT made a few cracking noises, but Rick had learned to support it with solid cement, so there weren't any major difficulties.
"Scratch that order, I'll have ten all toppings, extra large."
Rick sat down, and opened his wallet to ensure that he had enough gold to cover this. It wasn't any concern. He had enough money.
"So, Rick, how was your day." Gourmet asked, with a cheerful expression on his face.
"Everyone hates me." Rick just collapsed into a soft chair, Gourmet wasn't allowed to sit there, it was just for Rick. It was the only seat not fortified with cement.
Gourmet was a tad taken aback. Rick had gone through ups and downs, the downs being more prominent, but he had never gone this far in everyone's hatred of him.
"How so?"
"Well, Jack is hitting on Karen, Kai is dating Popurri again, and you know how much I hate that. My mom is still nagging me about my chores. And, worst of all, my chicken ran away."
With that last line, Gourmet saw a lone tear run down Rick's cheek. Gourmet knew chickens meant more to Rick than most people. People hated Rick, so Rick took conmfort in things that responded to his
affection, like chickens. Then Gourmet had an idea.
"Rick, it's time for a come-back tour."
"What?"
"We've been abused and teased and satirized for many games. We have tried to earn the respect from the citizens of the townspeople, that has failed, I think it's time to take it forcefully."
Rick slowly stood up, pushing his glasses up on his nose. A come-back tour. That might just work.
"I mean, we would make a great team. Think about it." Gourmet said, as he grasped Rick on his shoulder and spun him around so they could both see out of the chicken coop window. He waved his hand like in those really cheesy films where some little kid's dream has to come true through various plotholes and infringements of the laws of physics.
"I mean, you're smart, but you are criticized as a nerd, because of your appearence. Meanwhile, I'm uber sexy, but people don't see my particular talents." Gourmet said, spreading his arms.
"And, how would we work together? Do you have a plan?"
Rick was intrigued,
"As a matter of fact, I do."
---
DUN DUN DUN!!!!
The real bit is where there is no predictability whatsoever. Will Gourmet and Rick be successful? I could be cruel, I could be nice,
*Laughs maniacally*
To be continued!
Ahh, free time... Finally thought up a good scheme, mind, it is a bit late, but only about 4 days.
---
Respect, a FOMT fanfic, by yours truly
---
Rick waited to hear Gourmet's plan in silence. Gourmet waited for Rick to urge him on. There was silence in the room for a while. Rick finally broke it.
"And?"
"We'll be good samaritans!"
"Uh..." Rick had already tried this.
"I mean, really good samaritans!"
"Er..." Rick still didn't think Gourmet was a master planner.
"Ok, I'll give you an example. You know Gotz's house?"
"Of course, it's way out of the way."
"Well, you know how he never decorates it?"
"Yeah, everyone else does for Christmas, but he doesn't, ever."
"Well, we should decorate it for him!"
"But, that would take tons of lights and stuff, countless hours!"
"We'll do it at night!"
Rick was convinced. If Gotz's house was suddenly filled with Christmas cheer, then everyone would be astonished and silently grateful for the person who had started it. Gourmet and Rick would reveal themselves, and they would finally earn respect from the townspeople! Gourmet should really be given more credit. Rick was supposed to be the smart one, and Gourmet had the perfect plan!
"I'm all for it!"
"Good, here's the plan!"
Then they knelt together in the chicken coop and went over who would do what.
---
Decorating houses was extremely tiring. It really was. It hurt. Rick's back was killing him after only stringing up the lights for the roof. He had to finish. This was the only way he would ever be respected in town. He had to finish this, and make it look good.
"Hey, Rick, how you doing?"
"Great, I finished the mailbox!"
"Well, come here a sec."
Rick finished the mailbox and rushed over to Gourmet.
"What's the problem?"
"Well, the roof lights went out, and, well, I'm not good at climbing."
Rick knew. Those lights were the difficult kind. If one light went out, they all went out. He would have to go up there and test each one. But this was all for a good cause, and that kept him going. He mustered up any strength he had, and climbed the ladder to continue the god deed. Yes, he was slightly afraid of heights, but virtue blinded him from that fear!
---
A minute later all virtue had stopped with the whole "blinding" gig, as the Rick grasped the elctrical wire and accidentally snapped it. Neither did it shield him from the terror of dangling in midair clutching only a wire, staring at the ground, two floors away. Nor did it shield him from being electrocuted as the wire touched his bare skin. He began screaming in his own pathetic nerdy way.
"I got it covered!" Gourmet yelled, as he pulled the plug.
Rick's situation had improved, albeit, not that much. He was grasping that wire as though his life depended on it, which it very well might. But the yell had awoken a couple people.
"What's all this then?" Harris barked, as he wandered outside in his bathrobe.
"Er... We're helping you decorate!" Gourmet shouted.
Harris wasn't very amused, but at least he saw the reason.
"Right, well, do you have your permit?"
"Whaddya mean, permit?"
"The permit to ensure your personal safety, you aren't allowed to work on high areas without it. What if you fell?"
"Er.. No?"
It was then that Harris noticed Rick, slowly swinging back and forth on the electrical wire.
"Well, what's he doing then?"
"Er, he's swinging on it, you don't have any rules against swinging from ropes, do you?"
Harris didn't.
"Well, I'll have to get Thomas' report on this." Harris stumbled into the cabin, but didn't wake Gotz, who was still trying to at least maintain the appearence of rest. After a minute or two, he stumbled out, fully dressed.
"Er... That's all right, you don't have to involve Thomas, really!"
"Nope, the law says that if I don't have the answer, I have to confirm it with the mayor."
"But, Harris, Rick only wants a nice swing."
"Looks, to me like he's frightened stiff."
"Er, well, you know how it is."
"No, I don't. I'm going to go get Thomas."
Harris stumbled off.
"Rick! You have to get down!" Gourmet shrieked.
"How?"
"Er, do an action scene thing where you defy gravity and run on the wall down to the ground."
"How?"
"Er... There is no spoon?"
"I'm hanging by a wire!"
"Fine, I'll get you down!"
Gourmet slowly rose onto the ladder, and consequently broke the first step by placing his weight on it.
"Don't worry Rick, I'll get you down in no time at all!"
Rick looked down. It was a long way to drop.
---
DUN DUN DUN!!!
Will Thomas persecute Rick and Gourmet?
To be continued by all means!
---
Respect, a FOMT fanfic, by yours truly
---
Rick waited to hear Gourmet's plan in silence. Gourmet waited for Rick to urge him on. There was silence in the room for a while. Rick finally broke it.
"And?"
"We'll be good samaritans!"
"Uh..." Rick had already tried this.
"I mean, really good samaritans!"
"Er..." Rick still didn't think Gourmet was a master planner.
"Ok, I'll give you an example. You know Gotz's house?"
"Of course, it's way out of the way."
"Well, you know how he never decorates it?"
"Yeah, everyone else does for Christmas, but he doesn't, ever."
"Well, we should decorate it for him!"
"But, that would take tons of lights and stuff, countless hours!"
"We'll do it at night!"
Rick was convinced. If Gotz's house was suddenly filled with Christmas cheer, then everyone would be astonished and silently grateful for the person who had started it. Gourmet and Rick would reveal themselves, and they would finally earn respect from the townspeople! Gourmet should really be given more credit. Rick was supposed to be the smart one, and Gourmet had the perfect plan!
"I'm all for it!"
"Good, here's the plan!"
Then they knelt together in the chicken coop and went over who would do what.
---
Decorating houses was extremely tiring. It really was. It hurt. Rick's back was killing him after only stringing up the lights for the roof. He had to finish. This was the only way he would ever be respected in town. He had to finish this, and make it look good.
"Hey, Rick, how you doing?"
"Great, I finished the mailbox!"
"Well, come here a sec."
Rick finished the mailbox and rushed over to Gourmet.
"What's the problem?"
"Well, the roof lights went out, and, well, I'm not good at climbing."
Rick knew. Those lights were the difficult kind. If one light went out, they all went out. He would have to go up there and test each one. But this was all for a good cause, and that kept him going. He mustered up any strength he had, and climbed the ladder to continue the god deed. Yes, he was slightly afraid of heights, but virtue blinded him from that fear!
---
A minute later all virtue had stopped with the whole "blinding" gig, as the Rick grasped the elctrical wire and accidentally snapped it. Neither did it shield him from the terror of dangling in midair clutching only a wire, staring at the ground, two floors away. Nor did it shield him from being electrocuted as the wire touched his bare skin. He began screaming in his own pathetic nerdy way.
"I got it covered!" Gourmet yelled, as he pulled the plug.
Rick's situation had improved, albeit, not that much. He was grasping that wire as though his life depended on it, which it very well might. But the yell had awoken a couple people.
"What's all this then?" Harris barked, as he wandered outside in his bathrobe.
"Er... We're helping you decorate!" Gourmet shouted.
Harris wasn't very amused, but at least he saw the reason.
"Right, well, do you have your permit?"
"Whaddya mean, permit?"
"The permit to ensure your personal safety, you aren't allowed to work on high areas without it. What if you fell?"
"Er.. No?"
It was then that Harris noticed Rick, slowly swinging back and forth on the electrical wire.
"Well, what's he doing then?"
"Er, he's swinging on it, you don't have any rules against swinging from ropes, do you?"
Harris didn't.
"Well, I'll have to get Thomas' report on this." Harris stumbled into the cabin, but didn't wake Gotz, who was still trying to at least maintain the appearence of rest. After a minute or two, he stumbled out, fully dressed.
"Er... That's all right, you don't have to involve Thomas, really!"
"Nope, the law says that if I don't have the answer, I have to confirm it with the mayor."
"But, Harris, Rick only wants a nice swing."
"Looks, to me like he's frightened stiff."
"Er, well, you know how it is."
"No, I don't. I'm going to go get Thomas."
Harris stumbled off.
"Rick! You have to get down!" Gourmet shrieked.
"How?"
"Er, do an action scene thing where you defy gravity and run on the wall down to the ground."
"How?"
"Er... There is no spoon?"
"I'm hanging by a wire!"
"Fine, I'll get you down!"
Gourmet slowly rose onto the ladder, and consequently broke the first step by placing his weight on it.
"Don't worry Rick, I'll get you down in no time at all!"
Rick looked down. It was a long way to drop.
---
DUN DUN DUN!!!
Will Thomas persecute Rick and Gourmet?
To be continued by all means!
Er... Come on, a compliment I haven't used!
*Flips through Thesaurus*
That fic was...Uh...
Xanthic!
---
Respect, a FOMT Fanfic, by yours truly
---
"Gourmet, get me down!" Rick wasn't enjoying himself, although, it was a tad hard to enjoy himself dangling from the second story and whatnot.
"I broke the ladder!"
"Think of something else!"
Then Gourmet thought of somethig else.
"Rick, how smart are your chickens?"
"Er... Very?"
"Good, I have a plan."
"And what would that be?"
"I attract your chickens, then they all fly up and save you!"
Rick had never done this. He had gotten them to fetch a stick, but that was it. His options were severely limtied however. And that was how Gourmet began trying to attract chickens.
"Cluck, cluck, cluck!"
"Er.. Gourmet?"
"Look, it's worth a shot, right?"
Gourmet continued his clucking and prancing around doing the chicken dance while Rick began wondering whether this was still a good idea. As Harris and Thomas and the bulk of the townpeople returned, Rick decided it wasn't. Gourmet continued his chicken imitation, much to the townspeoples dismay.
"Harris, why did you bring me here?" Thomas asked, as he watched Gourmet go.
Gourmet stopped as soon as he heard Thomas' voice.
"Sir, I needed an opinion on whether there was unauthorized climbing in this area."
"Well, it looks like a straight case."
"That's what I thought, but he insists that Rick is doing it for pleasure, and therefore does not require a permit."
Thomas knew that that was loophole, as no one had ever climbed up on a building for the sole purpose of swinging on Christmas tree lights.
"Gourmet!" Thomas needed Gourmet's explanation.
He got it.
"Yes?"
"Why is Rick up there again?"
"Er.. He loves swinging, as I told Harris."
The townspeople suddenly looked up at Rick.
"He looks scared!" Saibara pointed out."Oh, I assure you he doesn't, he enjoys the thrill!" Gourmet was lying through his teeth.
"Help!" Rick shouted, he had begun panicking.
"He just screamed for aid!" Zack pointed out.
"Uh, he likes to maintain the illusion of being actually frightened, it helps his adrenaline."
This quelled the townspeople for a moment, then Jack shouted, "He's slipping!"
"No he's not, he is simply tying a very special kind of knot to keep from actually slipping."
"No I'm not!" Rick continued his panic.
"Well, he just said he wasn't."
"Well he is!"
"Get me down!"
"He doesn't want to be up there!" Jack said.
"You misinterpret, he said, 'Get me er... oun'!"
"What does that mean?"
"It's tree light swinging slang."
"Help!"
"Well, there you go, he just screamed for help again!" The townspeople's suspicions were rising.
"I assure you-"
Then Rick finally slipped and fell.
Luckily, Thomas was standing directly beneath him. And when I refer to luck, Thomas gets none of it.
Thomas slowly rose and wiped the dust from his suit. He was angry.
---
I'll jus' end there...
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!
*Flips through Thesaurus*
That fic was...Uh...
Xanthic!
---
Respect, a FOMT Fanfic, by yours truly
---
"Gourmet, get me down!" Rick wasn't enjoying himself, although, it was a tad hard to enjoy himself dangling from the second story and whatnot.
"I broke the ladder!"
"Think of something else!"
Then Gourmet thought of somethig else.
"Rick, how smart are your chickens?"
"Er... Very?"
"Good, I have a plan."
"And what would that be?"
"I attract your chickens, then they all fly up and save you!"
Rick had never done this. He had gotten them to fetch a stick, but that was it. His options were severely limtied however. And that was how Gourmet began trying to attract chickens.
"Cluck, cluck, cluck!"
"Er.. Gourmet?"
"Look, it's worth a shot, right?"
Gourmet continued his clucking and prancing around doing the chicken dance while Rick began wondering whether this was still a good idea. As Harris and Thomas and the bulk of the townpeople returned, Rick decided it wasn't. Gourmet continued his chicken imitation, much to the townspeoples dismay.
"Harris, why did you bring me here?" Thomas asked, as he watched Gourmet go.
Gourmet stopped as soon as he heard Thomas' voice.
"Sir, I needed an opinion on whether there was unauthorized climbing in this area."
"Well, it looks like a straight case."
"That's what I thought, but he insists that Rick is doing it for pleasure, and therefore does not require a permit."
Thomas knew that that was loophole, as no one had ever climbed up on a building for the sole purpose of swinging on Christmas tree lights.
"Gourmet!" Thomas needed Gourmet's explanation.
He got it.
"Yes?"
"Why is Rick up there again?"
"Er.. He loves swinging, as I told Harris."
The townspeople suddenly looked up at Rick.
"He looks scared!" Saibara pointed out."Oh, I assure you he doesn't, he enjoys the thrill!" Gourmet was lying through his teeth.
"Help!" Rick shouted, he had begun panicking.
"He just screamed for aid!" Zack pointed out.
"Uh, he likes to maintain the illusion of being actually frightened, it helps his adrenaline."
This quelled the townspeople for a moment, then Jack shouted, "He's slipping!"
"No he's not, he is simply tying a very special kind of knot to keep from actually slipping."
"No I'm not!" Rick continued his panic.
"Well, he just said he wasn't."
"Well he is!"
"Get me down!"
"He doesn't want to be up there!" Jack said.
"You misinterpret, he said, 'Get me er... oun'!"
"What does that mean?"
"It's tree light swinging slang."
"Help!"
"Well, there you go, he just screamed for help again!" The townspeople's suspicions were rising.
"I assure you-"
Then Rick finally slipped and fell.
Luckily, Thomas was standing directly beneath him. And when I refer to luck, Thomas gets none of it.
Thomas slowly rose and wiped the dust from his suit. He was angry.
---
I'll jus' end there...
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!
Whoa... The Doc's name is Tim...
Sweet...
Butter, you continue to kinda overshadow my writings. Keep it going!
---
Respect
A FOMT Fanfic, by yours truly
---
It was typically bad to fall on mayors, even in the best of times. As this was certainly not the best of times, Rick considered himself in trouble that he would probably be incapable of avoiding. He didn't need this. Thomas seemed to be very angry.
Gourmet was panicking, he needed an escape route. He needed a quick idea that migh actually work. He needed to lie.
"Ok, I've had enough of your antics Rick! Harris, take him-"
"Thomas, do you not see what Rick has done for you?"
Gourmet hated improvising, but he had to help out his good pal Rick.
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't now get out of my way before I send you to jail too."
"But Thomas, do you not see the demonic seal that fell onto the ground shortly after Rick fell on you?"
"What?"
"Er.. What?" Rick was finally involving himself, he slowly picked himself up from the ground.
The townspeople were confused. They began whispering among themselves. Most of them were convinced Gourmet had finally lost his last marble.
Gourmet bent down near the ground and ruffled into his pocket for some of his D&D equipment. He had used an ancient warrior symbol made of shiny plastic to unlock the sacred lock of the Be'ke'lla'k tribe so he could defeat the evil underworld spawn for some quest item. HE had a copy of the ancient warrior symbol, and assuming no one saw the little made in china thing, he might get away with it.
"See this?"
Gourmet held up the trinket for all to see.
People were amazed. It was a shiny plastic trinket, but it didn't look plastic.
"If Rick hadn't removed that, who knows what misfortune might have befallen you! I mean, the cursed symbol of the... uh... Bon'fella! Amazing, where did you get it?"
"Er... I didn't know I had it in the first place."
"Exactly! You should thank Rick for risking his life to knock such a dangerous symbol off of you!"
"Er, I should?"
"Er, he should?"
Gourmet began nudging Rick.
"Er, I mean, he should." Rick coughed out. Rick wasn't very good at this sort of thing.
Thomas was confused. He had been woken up in the dead of night, he had barely had time to get dressed, and he hadn't had his coffee. It was debatable as to whether he was conscious before Rick fell on him. He didn't want to be awake.
"Tell you what, just go. Thanks for removing the symbol thing, but I really don't want to brood on this."
"Er... You're welcome?" Rick began inkling out.
"What did I say?" Thomas asked, slowly, cracking his knuckles.
Rick and Gourmet soon discovered how fast their legs could carry them.
---
Gourmet and Rick were fairly happy. When happy is refferred to, it means thankful for their lives. Yet, while Rick was a bit intimidated, Gourmet wasn't. Gourmet's mind had been working. That could go either way as to whether it was good or not.
They were celebrating their victory by slumping in chairs in Rick's chicken coop, looking generally depressed. Then Gourmet's mind had finally reached a conclusion.
"Rick, I have another plan."
"Another one?"
"Trust me, it's a good one."
"What do we have to do?"
"You know that tagline for Chicago, right?"
Rick was silent.
"If you can't be famous, be infamous!"
---
I love scheming...
TO BE CONTINUED BY ALL MEANS!!!
You might be wondering what I mean by "infamous". No, I'm not going to tell you.
---
Respect
A FOMT Fanfic, by yours truly
"What?" Rick said, astounded. He had just wanted to be known as a nice guy. Gourmet was changing stuff around.
"We won't be stealing from people who need what we steal. We are going to hit Jack's golden lumber."
"You mean the lumber made for the sole purpose of making him look richer?"
"Yes."
"But, what about the cops, how do we get in? Jack keeps the gold lumber in his cabinet, and that isn't very accessible. His door is locked, and rigged for an alarm. How?"
"That is where my plan comes into play."
Gourmet then spread out a blueprint of Jack's house on the chicken coop floor. It showed that Jack had sprung for the skylight. It also showed Jack's security system. It was of the sort where Jack realized that he might at last minute forget something. If he wanted to get back in, he could simply disarm the alarm temporarily. It was semi simple to do. It could be opened once before any alarms sounded. Gourmet knew how to play to this advantage.
"I will sneak in. Jack's alarm won't go off unless I try to get out. I will grab the gold lumber, and then I will go directly below the skylight, where you will be waiting."
"But, I can't lift you!"
"No worries, I have some pulleys that will help, all you need to do is rig it and set it. Once you do this, you will only be doing a small fraction of the work."
Rick was satisfied. It was a good plan. It just might work. Everyone would honor the lumber job. After a couple month's Rick would admit that it was really he that did it with Gourmet, and they would never be pushed around again!
"The only risk is that Jack will always be in the same room, so don't get very noisy. He is a heavy sleeper, but he can wake up and ruin the job."
Funny how things worked out...
Everything was set. The pulley had been placed on the roof the day before. Rick and Gourmet had really snazzy thief outfits that looked like, er, thieves. It was in these black outfits that they approached Jack's house. Rick quickly climbed up the roof, Jack's house wasn't that tall. He didn't have to worry about heights. He simply climbed up and opened the skylight. He then lowered the rope and set up the pulley. Gourmet should be doing his stuff. He began whistling the theme to Mission Impossible, but silently, so as to keep the mood.
Gourmet was doing his stuff. He was rather stealthy considering his obesity. He didn't make that many sounds. The ones he did make were quickly passed over as he heard the satisfied snore of Jack. He grabbed the lumber from the cabinet, replacing it with a sack of sand, like Indiana Jones, because you could never tell when things were rigged to drop giant boulders on you. He then slowly grabbed onto the pulley, and tugged it. Soon, he was onhis way up.
Jack didn't wake up this entire time.
Then the problems started. With all great heists, this one didn't go off trouble-free. Gourmet had had some previous trouble fitting through doors, until he had discovered that he could slink through them sideways, but only when he inhaled as to suck up his gut. He was a bit concerned when Rick stopped whistling, and he heard a soft thud. He was a bit disturbed that he had stopped moving and that he felt the wall on some of his outer portions. This disturbed him.
Rick stopped the pulley and made sure it was stuck in place after waiting a couple minutes for Gourmet to clear the floor. He looked down into the room only to see the view blocked by Gourmet's backside. This did not encourage his enthusiasm for the job.
Gourmet was stuck.
To be continued!
Sweet...
Butter, you continue to kinda overshadow my writings. Keep it going!
---
Respect
A FOMT Fanfic, by yours truly
---
It was typically bad to fall on mayors, even in the best of times. As this was certainly not the best of times, Rick considered himself in trouble that he would probably be incapable of avoiding. He didn't need this. Thomas seemed to be very angry.
Gourmet was panicking, he needed an escape route. He needed a quick idea that migh actually work. He needed to lie.
"Ok, I've had enough of your antics Rick! Harris, take him-"
"Thomas, do you not see what Rick has done for you?"
Gourmet hated improvising, but he had to help out his good pal Rick.
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't now get out of my way before I send you to jail too."
"But Thomas, do you not see the demonic seal that fell onto the ground shortly after Rick fell on you?"
"What?"
"Er.. What?" Rick was finally involving himself, he slowly picked himself up from the ground.
The townspeople were confused. They began whispering among themselves. Most of them were convinced Gourmet had finally lost his last marble.
Gourmet bent down near the ground and ruffled into his pocket for some of his D&D equipment. He had used an ancient warrior symbol made of shiny plastic to unlock the sacred lock of the Be'ke'lla'k tribe so he could defeat the evil underworld spawn for some quest item. HE had a copy of the ancient warrior symbol, and assuming no one saw the little made in china thing, he might get away with it.
"See this?"
Gourmet held up the trinket for all to see.
People were amazed. It was a shiny plastic trinket, but it didn't look plastic.
"If Rick hadn't removed that, who knows what misfortune might have befallen you! I mean, the cursed symbol of the... uh... Bon'fella! Amazing, where did you get it?"
"Er... I didn't know I had it in the first place."
"Exactly! You should thank Rick for risking his life to knock such a dangerous symbol off of you!"
"Er, I should?"
"Er, he should?"
Gourmet began nudging Rick.
"Er, I mean, he should." Rick coughed out. Rick wasn't very good at this sort of thing.
Thomas was confused. He had been woken up in the dead of night, he had barely had time to get dressed, and he hadn't had his coffee. It was debatable as to whether he was conscious before Rick fell on him. He didn't want to be awake.
"Tell you what, just go. Thanks for removing the symbol thing, but I really don't want to brood on this."
"Er... You're welcome?" Rick began inkling out.
"What did I say?" Thomas asked, slowly, cracking his knuckles.
Rick and Gourmet soon discovered how fast their legs could carry them.
---
Gourmet and Rick were fairly happy. When happy is refferred to, it means thankful for their lives. Yet, while Rick was a bit intimidated, Gourmet wasn't. Gourmet's mind had been working. That could go either way as to whether it was good or not.
They were celebrating their victory by slumping in chairs in Rick's chicken coop, looking generally depressed. Then Gourmet's mind had finally reached a conclusion.
"Rick, I have another plan."
"Another one?"
"Trust me, it's a good one."
"What do we have to do?"
"You know that tagline for Chicago, right?"
Rick was silent.
"If you can't be famous, be infamous!"
---
I love scheming...
TO BE CONTINUED BY ALL MEANS!!!
You might be wondering what I mean by "infamous". No, I'm not going to tell you.
---
Respect
A FOMT Fanfic, by yours truly
"What?" Rick said, astounded. He had just wanted to be known as a nice guy. Gourmet was changing stuff around.
"We won't be stealing from people who need what we steal. We are going to hit Jack's golden lumber."
"You mean the lumber made for the sole purpose of making him look richer?"
"Yes."
"But, what about the cops, how do we get in? Jack keeps the gold lumber in his cabinet, and that isn't very accessible. His door is locked, and rigged for an alarm. How?"
"That is where my plan comes into play."
Gourmet then spread out a blueprint of Jack's house on the chicken coop floor. It showed that Jack had sprung for the skylight. It also showed Jack's security system. It was of the sort where Jack realized that he might at last minute forget something. If he wanted to get back in, he could simply disarm the alarm temporarily. It was semi simple to do. It could be opened once before any alarms sounded. Gourmet knew how to play to this advantage.
"I will sneak in. Jack's alarm won't go off unless I try to get out. I will grab the gold lumber, and then I will go directly below the skylight, where you will be waiting."
"But, I can't lift you!"
"No worries, I have some pulleys that will help, all you need to do is rig it and set it. Once you do this, you will only be doing a small fraction of the work."
Rick was satisfied. It was a good plan. It just might work. Everyone would honor the lumber job. After a couple month's Rick would admit that it was really he that did it with Gourmet, and they would never be pushed around again!
"The only risk is that Jack will always be in the same room, so don't get very noisy. He is a heavy sleeper, but he can wake up and ruin the job."
Funny how things worked out...
Everything was set. The pulley had been placed on the roof the day before. Rick and Gourmet had really snazzy thief outfits that looked like, er, thieves. It was in these black outfits that they approached Jack's house. Rick quickly climbed up the roof, Jack's house wasn't that tall. He didn't have to worry about heights. He simply climbed up and opened the skylight. He then lowered the rope and set up the pulley. Gourmet should be doing his stuff. He began whistling the theme to Mission Impossible, but silently, so as to keep the mood.
Gourmet was doing his stuff. He was rather stealthy considering his obesity. He didn't make that many sounds. The ones he did make were quickly passed over as he heard the satisfied snore of Jack. He grabbed the lumber from the cabinet, replacing it with a sack of sand, like Indiana Jones, because you could never tell when things were rigged to drop giant boulders on you. He then slowly grabbed onto the pulley, and tugged it. Soon, he was onhis way up.
Jack didn't wake up this entire time.
Then the problems started. With all great heists, this one didn't go off trouble-free. Gourmet had had some previous trouble fitting through doors, until he had discovered that he could slink through them sideways, but only when he inhaled as to suck up his gut. He was a bit concerned when Rick stopped whistling, and he heard a soft thud. He was a bit disturbed that he had stopped moving and that he felt the wall on some of his outer portions. This disturbed him.
Rick stopped the pulley and made sure it was stuck in place after waiting a couple minutes for Gourmet to clear the floor. He looked down into the room only to see the view blocked by Gourmet's backside. This did not encourage his enthusiasm for the job.
Gourmet was stuck.
To be continued!
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