Repect by Ziggyme parts 6+
Respect
A FOMT Fanfic, by yours truly
"What?" Rick said, astounded. He had just wanted to be known as a nice guy. Gourmet was changing stuff around.
"We won't be stealing from people who need what we steal. We are going to hit Jack's golden lumber."
"You mean the lumber made for the sole purpose of making him look richer?"
"Yes."
"But, what about the cops, how do we get in? Jack keeps the gold lumber in his cabinet, and that isn't very accessible. His door is locked, and rigged for an alarm. How?"
"That is where my plan comes into play."
Gourmet then spread out a blueprint of Jack's house on the chicken coop floor. It showed that Jack had sprung for the skylight. It also showed Jack's security system. It was of the sort where Jack realized that he might at last minute forget something. If he wanted to get back in, he could simply disarm the alarm temporarily. It was semi simple to do. It could be opened once before any alarms sounded. Gourmet knew how to play to this advantage.
"I will sneak in. Jack's alarm won't go off unless I try to get out. I will grab the gold lumber, and then I will go directly below the skylight, where you will be waiting."
"But, I can't lift you!"
"No worries, I have some pulleys that will help, all you need to do is rig it and set it. Once you do this, you will only be doing a small fraction of the work."
Rick was satisfied. It was a good plan. It just might work. Everyone would honor the lumber job. After a couple month's Rick would admit that it was really he that did it with Gourmet, and they would never be pushed around again!
"The only risk is that Jack will always be in the same room, so don't get very noisy. He is a heavy sleeper, but he can wake up and ruin the job."
Funny how things worked out...
Everything was set. The pulley had been placed on the roof the day before. Rick and Gourmet had really snazzy thief outfits that looked like, er, thieves. It was in these black outfits that they approached Jack's house. Rick quickly climbed up the roof, Jack's house wasn't that tall. He didn't have to worry about heights. He simply climbed up and opened the skylight. He then lowered the rope and set up the pulley. Gourmet should be doing his stuff. He began whistling the theme to Mission Impossible, but silently, so as to keep the mood.
Gourmet was doing his stuff. He was rather stealthy considering his obesity. He didn't make that many sounds. The ones he did make were quickly passed over as he heard the satisfied snore of Jack. He grabbed the lumber from the cabinet, replacing it with a sack of sand, like Indiana Jones, because you could never tell when things were rigged to drop giant boulders on you. He then slowly grabbed onto the pulley, and tugged it. Soon, he was onhis way up.
Jack didn't wake up this entire time.
Then the problems started. With all great heists, this one didn't go off trouble-free. Gourmet had had some previous trouble fitting through doors, until he had discovered that he could slink through them sideways, but only when he inhaled as to suck up his gut. He was a bit concerned when Rick stopped whistling, and he heard a soft thud. He was a bit disturbed that he had stopped moving and that he felt the wall on some of his outer portions. This disturbed him.
Rick stopped the pulley and made sure it was stuck in place after waiting a couple minutes for Gourmet to clear the floor. He looked down into the room only to see the view blocked by Gourmet's backside. This did not encourage his enthusiasm for the job.
Gourmet was stuck.
To be continued!
*Surgically alters thumbs so they can go as high as I want them to*
Two thumbs up!
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Respect
A FOMT Fanfic, by yours truly
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Getting stuck in a window is always a problem. Even in the best of times it can cause a royal pain in the neck. It didn't help that to get stuck now involved a glamorous shot at getting caught.
Naturally, Rick and Gourmet were a tad distressed that the latter was stuck in a skylight. Every sound that Jack's snore made allowed them to panic. Jack took a really deep breath, and for a moment they thought he would wake, but he just kinda turned over and snored happily. Logs apparently sleep really well.
Jack didn't look like he would wake up unless there was a sound involving millions of billions of rocks making big holes in buildings simultaneously. The duo didn't need to worry about that. What they did need to worry about was that Gourmet couldn't get out of Jack's house.
Gourmet was big, he couldn't get out. His waist was too big. In retrospect he decided that he shouldn't have eaten that last serving of pie the night before in the buffet. Gourmet was still calmer than Rick, who was freaking out.
"Gourmet, we need to get you out!"
"Wait a second, I have a plan."
Gourmet did not think for a second. Rather, he opted to think for at least several before he finally did have a plan.
"Ok, here's the plan." Gourmet whispered into Rick's ear.
Jack was still blissfully oblivious that he was being robbed.
Rick and Gourmet would do it this time.They had the Golden Lumber in their hands and they would succeed. Gourmet tossed Rick the Lumber ahead of time. Now it was all in the lard that Gourmet had painted about his waist. The theory was that if Gourmet sucked his gut, he would fit through, but barely, hence the lard. Rick would aid this by using the crane to go at maximum strength so it would be very fast. They had already planned that Gourmet might go a bit to far up, hence the pillows surrounding the ceiling.
However, if there is one point I want to get across, it involves plans very rarely working. This happened in this case particularly.
Gourmet got into his brace and prepared to hit the pillows above. It didn't work out. Instead, he got stuck again, except now he had lard soaking through his pants. Rick panicked again.
"Gourmet, it didn't work! What'll we do now?"
"Wait a second, I'll think of something else."
It took more than a second, but in Rick's panic, he had forgotten a crucial bit. He forgot to turn the crane off. The strain to pull Gourmet up became even stronger. Rick was in a panic and as he talked to Gourmet, he didn't notice the creaks of the house.
It was for this reason that the Skylight was suddenly able to accomodate Gourmet.
In a wild burst of splintery chips, the crane finally beat the restrictions. Gourmet went flying up into the pillows above. He hung on and was soon on the roof. And soon Gourmet and Rick were running back to the coop, Golden Lumber in hand.
Jack actually woke up to this sound, seeing nothing but a huge hole in his ceiling and a couple pillows dropping down.
The Mineral Town job had succeeded.
Then Jack pressed charges.
Rick was in another panic. Jack was setting up an investigation. He sat in his chicken coop and worried. If they found out he could go to jail. They had gotten the Lumber, yes, but they were not respected. This had a lot to do with the fact that it was in stealth that they had operated, but still. There were rumors about the town that the next Charlie Croker had been romping around, acting as a general Robing Hood. Some said that the money had gone to charity, others said that the money had gone to the thief's personal yacht. Rick and Gourmet were proud of the tales spun about them, even if it was anonymous.
Then Gourmet came in to reassure Rick.
"Rick, do you realize that this is a good thing? If they discover that it was us, then people will know who exactly operated the Mineral Town job. We will probably go to jail for a couple months, but when we are free, people will have to accept us! We might even have our own fan base!"
This speech cheered Rick up, until they both heard some cheering outside.
"This criminal has been charged with stealing the Golden Lumber of Jack! How do you plead defendant?"
"Moi."
Harris had gotten a suspect, and it was none other than the bum from Forget Valley.
"That means guilty, eh?"
"Moi."
"Exactly!"
Harris was pleased. He honestly didn't feel like working, and people didn't like Murrey, hence the accusations. He was hitting two birds with one stone.
"See? Here is the criminal! He has pleaded guilty so there is no question!"
"But what of the Lumber?" A townsperson asked.
Rick and Gourmet were reassured, Murrey didn't have the lumber. He couldn't prove that he was the thief.
Murrey pointed to his mouth in response.
"He ate it?"
Murrey burped.
Rick and Gourmet watched as Thomas believed this insane idea.
The Mineral Town was a success, but it didn't get Rick and Gourmet the respect they wanted
Crazi, I got one thing to say.
Whatever Jack's taking, I want some!
Good update, though!
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Respect
A FOMT Fanfic, by yours truly
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Now, after two horrific failures, most people would give up. Gourmet however, well, he believed in the third time being the charm and all. It was in this state of mind that he continued to think. He continued to plot. Rick watched him for a bit, but then decided to play with his chickens. Karen had left him, Popuri had married Kai. He had only one thing to turn to, his chickens.
This was chicken country.
Rick happily fed his chickens. He did things to them that would be grand fodder for a children's book. Something along the lines of "See Rick. See Rick feed chicks. See Rick be a helpless nerd who has to rely on chicks for his company." That sort of thing.
Finally, after thinking for a bit, Gourmet had a plan!
It involved him, and the business end of a buffet.
Rick looked at the calendar, something about the fireworks festival. Nothing important, he could safely ignore it.
Rick decided to just give up and go to sleep.
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Gourmet found Rick lying asleep in an easy chair in the chicken coop. He tried to wake Rick, but to no avail. Rick was a heavy sleeper. He thought for a bit, and he decided to try this new plan of his.
"Rick, I'm thin!"
Rick leapt out of his chair gazing at Gourmet with a look of sheer amazement. It took him about five seconds to realize that there was no feasible way for Gourmet to ever be thin, so he finally settled down. He sat in his chair and wished Gourmet a good morning.
"Rick, you'll be pleased to know I have a plan, and this one is fool-proof!"
"What?"
"Yup, fool-proof, it can't possibly go wrong!"
Rick had to hear this.
"OK, we do a circus!"
Rick wasn't convinced.
"Hear me out!"
Rick heard him out.
"Ok, now all of our plans have gone awry because we usually find a way to make ourselves look like fools, right?"
Rick nodded.
"Well, in a circus, we're SUPPOSED to make ourselves look like fools!"
Rick saw the logic to it.
"See, we put on a show and entertain everyone. Then, they will respect us because at very least we amused the children!"
Rick saw how it could work.
"OK, we'll start practicing tomorrow night, when no one will suspect anything. Bring some tar and feathers."
"Why?"
"We need a punishment if I should fall off the high rope!"
Rick was a bit disturbed that Gourmet would be using tar and feathers, but he decided to bring them anyways.
"Sure, ok."
"Good, I'll bring the cannon and the fake breasts."
Rick looked confused.
"Don't worry, I'm the only one who will be fired out of it."
Rick was a bit relieved, but not entirely. The fake boobs bugged him a bit. He didn't even want to know how Gourmet had it planned, but one thing was for sure, he would win Karen's heart back by doing this, and that was all that mattered.
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To be continued and such, and yes, this is reaching a finale of sorts. I went crazy on the foreshadowing.
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